What I Wish I Knew in My 20s, 30s, and 40s: Life Lessons from Women of Different Generations
Hindsight is 20/20, and every woman, no matter her age, has looked back at a past decade and thought, “If only I had known then what I know now.”
Each stage of life comes with its own set of lessons—your 20s are often about self-discovery, your 30s about finding balance, and your 40s about owning your confidence. The beauty of intergenerational wisdom is that we don’t have to wait to learn these lessons the hard way—we can learn from those who’ve already been there.
I spoke with women from different generations to gather their insights on what they wish they had known in their 20s, 30s, and 40s. Here’s what they had to say.
What Women Wish They Knew in Their 20s
Your 20s are for learning, not proving.
Your 20s are often a whirlwind of ambition, self-doubt, and figuring out who you are. Many women feel pressure to have everything figured out, but the reality is, this is the decade for trial and error.
What Women in Their 20s Should Remember:
You don’t need to have it all figured out. Careers, relationships, and self-identity are constantly evolving. It's okay to pivot.
Set boundaries early. Learning to say no now will prevent burnout later.
Financial literacy is everything. Start saving, investing, and don’t ignore your retirement fund.
Don’t stay in a toxic relationship just because you’re afraid of being alone. Your future self will thank you for walking away.
Failure is just redirection. Every setback is a stepping stone to something better.
Advice from Women in Their 30s and 40s:
"I wish I had focused more on enjoying the journey rather than stressing about the destination. The career, the partner, the 'perfect' life—it all falls into place when you let go of the timeline." – Nicole, 38
"I regret not taking better care of my mental health in my 20s. Therapy, self-care, and rest are just as important as work." – Rachel, 45
What Women Wish They Knew in Their 30s
Stop trying to be everything to everyone.
Your 30s are often the decade where life feels like a juggling act—career growth, relationships, family responsibilities, and personal goals all competing for attention. Many women struggle with people-pleasing and burnout, but this is also the time when they start learning how to prioritize themselves.
What Women in Their 30s Should Remember:
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Protect your energy by setting firm boundaries.
Work-life balance is not a myth. It just requires being intentional about how you spend your time.
Comparison will rob you of happiness. Stop measuring your success against others—everyone’s timeline is different.
Friendships require effort. If you want to keep meaningful relationships, you have to nurture them.
Health is wealth. Take care of your body now, and it will take care of you later.
Advice from Women in Their 40s and Beyond:
"I spent my 30s saying yes to everything. I wish I had learned sooner that saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you wise." – Linda, 52
"I let fear hold me back from making big career moves. In hindsight, I should have taken more risks instead of playing it safe." – Sara, 47
What Women Wish They Knew in Their 40s
Confidence comes from experience, not perfection.
By the time you reach your 40s, something shifts—you start to care less about what others think and more about what actually fulfills you. Many women describe this decade as a time of self-acceptance, reinvention, and reclaiming their power.
What Women in Their 40s Should Remember:
Aging is a privilege, not a curse. Every wrinkle and gray hair is proof of a life well-lived.
You don’t have to have everything “figured out” by 40. It’s never too late to change careers, start a business, or pursue a dream.
Let go of toxic people. Your time and energy are too valuable to waste on relationships that drain you.
Confidence isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about trusting yourself to figure things out along the way.
Prioritize joy. Life is too short to delay happiness.
Advice from Women in Their 50s and Beyond:
"I used to think beauty was about looking young. Now, I know it’s about the way you carry yourself—with confidence, joy, and self-respect." – Gloria, 72
"I wish I had started putting myself first sooner. You don’t need permission to live your life the way you want." – Diane, 61
Final Thoughts: Wisdom is a Gift We Can Pass On
No matter what decade you’re in, you are always growing, evolving, and learning. The best thing we can do as women is share our experiences with each other so that we don’t have to navigate these lessons alone.
If you’re in your 20s, take advice from women who have been there.
If you’re in your 30s, don’t be afraid to let go of what no longer serves you.
If you’re in your 40s, own your power and live unapologetically.
Because no matter what stage of life you’re in, the best is yet to come.